Money cant buy happiness

So I learned this week that money doesn’t buy happiness…

I quit my job… then they fired me…

I’m trying to do the hustle and the grind on the side and nothings… you know… taking off like immediately… who would have fucking known!!?… like I’m just impatient….

All I keep thinking is I went from making “this” a day and now I’m only making “sometimes this”…

But like also… in one fucking day… I made the most money I ever made…. I made enough to pay my rent next month… Like next week… I made enough to pay my rent next week….

Yet here I am… depressed….and thinking about how I’m not making what i’m used to making every day… And I’m not putting in the hours that i’m used to putting in every week…

But I already in one day just made… alot…. and its just like this weird mind fuck…

Like this has only been not even a week of being out on my own….

So I don’t know what the months going to look like… I’m starting to see though that I cant look at this per day… per hour…. It’s not gonna be like that… I have to compare month to month…

Im gonna try that out… I’m gonna try to be positive…

And I just need to remember to look at the wins not the losses… cuz the wins are great…

And I also think a lot about how people who win the lottery… It only comes to the people who are…. I don’t know…. I guess they expect it… They feel like they deserve it… they know what they are gonna do with it…

And I keep thinking…. If I….

You know, I listen to Abraham hicks and spiritual shit… And you got to believe in yourself and these things before they can come to you basically…

And so I keep thinking like… do I believe that I should win the lottery or be like really really really rich?…I keep thinking like what would my day look like what would I do… And I think about it and I’d probably still be lost and depressed and still have no fucking purpose and reason to live…

So maybe thats why I cant win the lottery…

But I do believe in myself enough to know that I can make it to next month so thats why… 2 days ago I won my own personal lottery where I can pay my rent next month….

I guess thats how life works…

So now I just gotta keep working on what would I do with a million dollars…

What would I do if I was rich….

Like I need to be prepared…

Cuz that shit ain’t gonna come to you if you aren’t prepared for it or if it somehow does fucking come to you its gonna knock you on your ass and your gonna be homeless and I don’t know… its gonna be bad…

So if you guys want to be rich…. if you want to win the lottery… prepare for it… Figure out what your day would be like… what would you do…

Cuz I don’t want to just win the lottery and be laying in bed all day cuz I’m depressed… And I think thats what I would do if I won the lottery right now.

So that’s why I cannot win the lottery right now…

I got to bust my butt off and enjoy this fucking struggle and just make it work cuz I guess that’s more fun…

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