Dick size doesn’t matter

So… size is not important to me

I have had guys with big dicks that just hurt

I have had a guy with a big skinny dick I could hardly feel

…{ramble}…

I had a guy with a big dick who couldn’t stay hard

I had a guy with a big dick who couldn’t last long

My point is…

Big dicks are more disappointing than not big dicks

To be honest

So….

It’s not about the fucking size

It’s about the connection

And…

We all know its about the clitoris

You don’t need a big dick for the clitoris…

True Love {for my cat}

True love is when you hate them

When they annoy the fuck out of you

When you wish you didn’t have them

Because they make things harder

But…

You could never

Ever…

Think about leaving them

Really…

And that is how I feel for my cat

To be fair

I’m sure she feels the same

I know she has hated me at times

I know I have annoyed her at times

But…

I know she loves me….

Confidence and my weird witch voice

SO my confidence has gone up in life…

Finallyyyy

At 34 almost years old

I know this because

A….

I though of something so important to say that I had to do it while showering

AND

B…. because

Today this young girl said “you have a weird voice” {in weird little girl voice}

Literally this young innocent sweet girl who is just being brutally honest, not even coming off mean, just noticing her surroundings and apparently what she noticed was………………………………….. “I have a weird voice”

And then she says “IT’S LIKE A WITCH” {in a cute weird little girl voice}

I think its cute. My pride isn’t hurt…. {no ego or pride hurt here by this sweet innocent honest little girl}

I mean yeah

I always kind of thought my voice sounded funny on recordings

But I figure that’s how it is with everybody when you hear your voice

Like some weird matrix shit

So I just thought that was normal and that my voice was normal

So now at 34 almost years old

I am starting to wonder if my voice is actually funny

Like haha not wow that was a good joke

but like haha your voice sounds strange

….

So

Here where my confidence part kicked in

I have this conceited thought while in the shower

I thought hey

Its better to hear it from this little girl whos being all cute and sweet

Its better to hear it from her that my voice is “funny” and “sounds like a witch” than from people and my tolls on the internet when I get like

Big and famous

You know and I get trolls and shit

One troll one day is going to say to me “your voice sounds funny”

And I am going to be like

Thank you…. little girl

Thank you for that

I really appreciate you bringing that to my attention but uh

Yeah, I think its pretty cool

….

Anyways, that was my thought in the shower

And I knew

I know I was going to forget it

If I didn’t tell it

And

I was like 100% sure that I was going to fuck it up

But uh apparently I didn’t

I think I made it all the way through

And I didn’t you know get side tracked by a squirrel or something

….

Just remember that guys when you tell me my voice sounds funny

Or when you think it

It doesn’t hurt me

You cant hurt me

I think its cute

Bye……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

………………………………………. . . . .

I cant frickin log into my phone to turn this recording off

Because my hands are all wet and it doesn’t recognize the finger print

But I finally got it unlocked right now

And sorry you had to hear that

Thank you for listening this far

If you got this far

Your fucking awesome!

Screw your categories, I am who I am

The good stuff starts around 1:58 but to keep this recording unedited (mostly due to less work for me) I left the beginning mumbo jumbo in there.

I fucking hate politics

I refuse to learn them

I don’t know right wing vs left wing

Republican vs democrat

Liberal vs conservative

I have no fucking clue

Trying to figure that shit out is like the scene from “a beautiful mind”

I don’t give a fuck

Feminism…. fuck….

I don’t know what that is either

I don’t know if that means you are about having a guy be a gentleman or if your about “I can do it myself and I don’t need a man”

I think it’s the latter?

I think I’m the latter

I don’t like labels though

I am what I fucking am

You cannot check off any boxes and have me line up on the right side, left side, the middle, whatever

I am on a different fucking level

I ain’t even on the same plane as your charts

I’m 2 steps to the right and 5 steps up and a step diagonal

That’s where I am

I’m not on your Richter scale

Even white vs black

Even that

I just feel like

We are all fucking human

That’s my belief

That’s my side

Fuck categories

In relationships theses days why do we have to figure out within 3 dates if something is going to happen or not

Why are we trying to categorize our relationships from day one. Trying to put a fucking label on it.

Why can’t we just see what it fucking becomes instead of trying to make it something that it’s not.

Yet too often we sleep with someone or kiss someone before we even know them.

We don’t even know if in one month they will even be someone we can stand as a person. Yet we fucking kissed (or whatevered) them too fucking soon.

Oils & Rocks

“I bought every crystal…

every aromatherapy essential oil…

Tarot cards…

vitamins…

….trying to clear my bad juju.

I don’t think it’s working…

If it is working!?…

…Man…

If this is the best damn outcome because my life was that fucking shitty and all of those oils and rocks actually helped and then this is the fucking holy grail here…

….then damn I don’t even know what to say, but damn; “

Fuck Fuckboys


No!

I do not want to have some “fun” with you.

I haven’t even met you.

Your cock is not some prized possession to me and your skills I’m sure will leave much to be desired.

I can fuck myself better than you ever will.

To hook up with you early on would be only to your pleasure.

I’m not down for pleasuring some guy I don’t even know if I can even stand as a person.

If you want me you have to prove you’re interested in more than just my body parts and looks.

I’m not looking for a sex partner.

I’m looking for my best friend.

Someone who will be there for me through thick and thin.

Comfort me in times of need.

Challenge me to be stronger.

Be my muse.

Inspire me.

Teach me new things.

Explore the unknown with me.

Let me into your world.

Show me a possible and grand future with you.

And I’ll do the same for you.

Only then (if we’re on the same page) may I be able to actually enjoy having sex with you.

Till then don’t even try to kiss me or ask me for a kiss.

Why not try to be so amazing I can’t help but ask {YOU} for a kiss…

High in the bath rant about being high

Here is a better well written version of a bathtub rant I had while high about being high on 1/10/2020

What do normal people feel when they are high cuz when I get high I feel like I’m having an autistic reaction.

I wonder, is this how others feel and why do they enjoy it? I feel like I’m going to swallow my tongue.

Or am I different and having some kind of an allergic reaction?

That’s what I want to know cuz I want to be in the stoner crew.

You guys are so f****** chill.

Weed is like Greeks Windex to them {My big fat Greek wedding movie reference}

You got insomnia smoke weed

You got anxiety smoke weed

You got nausea smoke weed

You got a headache smoke weed

Man if I smoke weed doing/ having any of that s*** I look like a goddamn crackhead and not going to cure any problems down the rabbit hole.