Drug addict brother

My life has been uprooted and every day has been a struggle for me since my brother showed up at 9pm on Saturday July 24th with dried blood on his teeth, a swollen jaw, barely able to open his mouth, with a face and mind I do not recognize. He has been living in a very dark and dangerous world I know nothing about and it breaks my heart.

I am an extremely deep feeling person and have been left alone from the only family I have. I cry every day and have constant headaches from it. I am not able to sleep, I’m full of anxiety and find myself slipping into a deep depression. I am nauseous, hardly able to eat, down 5 pounds in 3 days.

I have not heard from my brother since and I do not know if I ever will. I feel as though his death is coming, if it has not already. I have his dog now, along with my senior medically challenged cat and dog in my 1 bedroom apartment with not much help or support . They get along fine, although cramped. Most tell me to get rid of my brothers dog but this was my dads dog too. My dad who passed away 3 years ago yesterday. This dog is family. This dog is sweet and grieving just like me and I cannot turn my back on him when I know what it feels like. This dog may be the last gift and connection to my brother. I get so lonely and depressed at night and my brothers pit bull is the only one there I can hug that feels almost like a person.

My name is Sami and I am a gum addict

October 5th 2020


How do you know if someone is a gum addict?

Same way you know if someone is addicted to cigarettes….

….they buy the cartons at Costco

I… am…. a…. gum addict

I buy the cartons of gum at Costco

Probably, possibly bi-weekly or at least for sure monthly…. about…


I got my addictions to the gums

I don’t know why

I probably have a deficiency or effects of antidepressants

I just keep wanting to chew it

Have my mouth so minty and not dry

I just don’t like to have that cotton mouth

That dryness

I’m not even that big of a stoner

So uh

Yeah ….

My name is Sami and I am a gum addict….