Cast Iron Love

…. “Real love is like having a really well cared for cast iron pan” ….

…. “You got to care for it and season that m****** f*****” ….

…. “. . . .you got to cook with it, you got to throw some oil in it {some extra love into the pan}” ….

…. “You got to keep putting love and attention into this cast iron pan and then you cook an egg and its f*** beautiful!” ….

…. “Nothing sticks to it, It is like a beautiful love” ….

…. “But guess what your done cooking and you gotta like still care for that m******f******” ….

…. “I’m just scrubbing it for whatever reason. . . I’m just giving it more f**** love so its gonna keep working for me” ….

…. “But this whole time I’m like making love to this m***** f******* cast iron pan” ….

…. “I’m taking care of it and you know what its taking care of me” ….

Talking honestly to the spy cams

…. “I’m learning to be so openly honest and just like, I’m not trying to be mean, I definitely come off as nice as possible but I say the truth with no f***** in a nice way!” ….

…. “. . . I know because I am the manager that there are cameras that are listening to us” ….

…. “I’m like you know what? {I f****** love this}” ….

…. “I’m gonna be f****** honest {in the nice way}” ….

…. “I f****** hope they hear it! I DO!” ….

…. “These m****** f****** need to hear this shit” ….

Secretive people are weird

…. “You know what always like confuses me about people {laughs}” ….

…. “. . . Sometimes we got to get your name, number and email to like check you in for your appointment ” ….

…. “UNDERSTANDABLE” ….

…. “But some of these m***** f******  . . .” ….

…. “They are so f****** like securitive” ….

…. “What is that. . . overly security?!?” …..

…. “I DONT KNOW” ….

…. “Super secretive!” ….

8…. “I’m looking at them and I’m like…. {m***** f***** you look like you just some old man who like in retirement like who’s the f***be checking up on you?!” ….

…. “You think your some big shot?” …

…. “No” ….

…. “I don’t think people care to know what area you live in, like you ain’t that f***** big! STOP!” ….

Most stable mentally unstable person

…. “{laughs}” ….

…. “If you think I’m crazy, I get it” ….

…. “The thing is I was normal, I was uptight, life sucked for me just like t sucks for you” …..

…. “It sucked so f****** bad I wanted to die, It was so painful I wanted to die” ….

…. “It broke me” ….

…. “I had to glue myself back together and I had a little fun gluing myself back so you know what I like this version of me better” ….

…. “The Picasso me” ….

…. “F*** society and that old version of me. F*** that one” …. 

Antiquing my tattoo

…. “Got a new tattoo. . . I’m definitely, probably not taking care of it right” ….

…. “f*** I can’t just like leave this bath water sitting on my tattoo” ….

…. “How do I care for this but also I’m gonna stay in this m***** f****** bath” ….

…. “. . . It look like made with chalk and its just gonna wash off” ….

…. “Rough around the edges or something, like me” ….

…. “If this shit f***** heals and scabs and the ink doesn’t stay some in some spots cuz I was bad . . . You know what. . . I don’t care” ….

…. “like, that’s like I just antiqued my tattoo” ….

…. “I’m just patina-ing my tattoo” ….

…. “I might like it better” …. 

Insomnia

…. “I don’t get why I have insomnia because I’m up before everyone else I know. . . but I’m also the last one to go to bed” ….

…. “I don’t know, I’ve been doing fine, but I keep trying for 8 hours and I never get it” ….

…. “I barely sleep 6 hours straight, I’m so light sleeper-y” ….

…. “You took a long a** bath, you should be like ready to go to sleep like a f****** baby” ….

…. “I still can’t f****** sleep” ….

…. “So much thinking, its like building up inside my head. . . And now i have all this f***** energy because I don’t know. . . ” ….

…. “. . .f****** energetic thoughts of things and ideas, philosophies . . .{I sound like a crack head}” ….

“It sucks that I now am just so lonely and wound up that I have to talk to a phone [recorder]” ….

…. “I just want to sleep though, I almost take Benadryl every night. . . It’s so bad but it doesn’t even help, mostly, I think, I don’t know. . .” ….

…. “So that’s my rant on my insomnia. . . Kinda down but with like an energy that’s up because I feel cracked out. . . {it’s that f****** matcha latte that i had too late in the day. . . and . . . I’m high}” ….

Why do I want to be a comedian?

…. “I liked it. I liked the comedy of it, the sad dark humor of it and I think that’s probably cuz I have this sad dark humor” ….

…. “Where the f*** ever did think I want to be a stand up comedian?” ….

…. “I never was the person that was in the theater program who liked improve acting, I’m not that person” ….

…. “Why do I do what I do?” …. 

…. “Obviously not making money type thing” ….

…. “I just do it cuz its a way to fill my time and uh, be creative” ….

…. “I have not many people to talk to cuz I live alone and I’m a introverted type person” ….

…. “I don’t like this small talk shit” ….

…. “I don’t know what I was talking about actually” {laughs} ….

Honor Your Pain

3/5/2021 

…. “So uh, I just had this thought that uh, where ever it hurts is uh. . .  F*** I’m high!” ….

…. “Where ever it hurts you need to honor that, you need to thank it, don’t be mad, don’t be ashamed that it hurts” ….

…. “F****** honor it!” ….

…. “Like my ankles f****** hurt right now {laughs} from standing all day at work ok!? And um, they f****** hurt” ….

…. “But I’m like you know what. . .  I thank you f***** ankles for standing all day at work” ….

…. “Thank you” ….

…. “But yes, honor your pain, if it is a f***** broken heart . . .you know what, be like that’s understandable and now your stronger, your good” ….

…. “Like love that part about it” ….