Thanks for listening guys

…. “I feel like I’m living on the edge right now because I only have like one podcast scheduled to go out” ….

…. “ . . . They are so old when I listen to those I am like {god damn that’s an annoying b****}” ….

…. “. . .  I’m not postings that one, that one is so lame” ….

…. “um… so…….” ….

…. “I thought this is kinda cool actually” ….

…. “It means that my podcast and blog posts and everything with my instagram posts and all that . . . {because it’s happening in the same few days} it’s  like in real time” ….

…. “A lot of the old podcasts were like months old, or weeks old and now I’m at couple hours old type shit” ….

…. “So this shit is getting real” …. 

…. “Um. . . Sure its nice to have 7 podcasts scheduled for the week but uh. . . It’s hard. . . I’m working a lot and uh. . .yeah. . .” ….

…. “I don’t even want to go into the iPhone 5c and 6 archives. . . Or the iPads. . .um. .  ” ….

…. “I ain’t prepared to listen to those, they in the bad parts of life” ….

…. “. . . This is too boring, this is too sad” ….

…. “Not much of those get out” ….

…. “I feel like I’m eventually gonna run out and then I’m going to have. . .I’m gonna miss a day. . .and that’s crazy” ….

…. “I don’t know what happened, I just started this podcast so intuitively and uh . . . With no f****** plan but from day one the plan was, upload one a day and now I’m like shit. . . It’s getting scary” ….

…. “I’m getting scared, if I miss a day I’m gonna feel super disappointed” ….

…. “How hard can it be to upload a rant a day they are like 2 minutes long!? . . .  I can do it!. . .  I got this!. . .” ….

…. “I’m doing what I do and I like it and uh well see what happens and don’t beat me up if skip a day cuz I get busy. . . K? Thanks! Thanks for listening guys” ….

Random thoughts and facts

…. “So uh” ….

…. “Sorry I’ve been a little MIA on the podcast” …. 

***(PS find me where the podcasts are for the most current rants)***

…. “Just uh. . . I don’t know. . . Trying to figure my life out” ….

…. “Also . . . Uh. . . ” ….

…. “Sometimes I have my cup that I drink my tea in and I clean it out in the shower  while I clean myself” …. 

…. “I thought I wanted you guys to know that” ….

…. “As I’m just showering and doing my dishes over here” ….

Check out my podcast | Sami Rants

Hey guys check out my podcast called Sami Rants where most podcasts are spewed.

Lesson from a old man in a tutu at trader joes

ranted this morning

So this one day…. meaning right now…. I uh…

I was doing my hair and makeup, I was high

Um Its ok, I had the day off

I was like what makeup should I do? What hair should I do?

And I was like what the fuck

It’s my day off

And why do I even have to do my hair or make up

So I just put it in this messy ass bun since I don’t need my hair looking great

I really wish I could just take my hair off, have a shaved head or something

But I don’t so I put it in a bun on the top of my head and I get all the hair off my neck and shoulders so it at least feels like I don’t have any hair

Except it feels like something is squeezing my head which is really annoying but I guess its the price I pay for not shaving my head

Anyway I put my hair in a weird ass bun and I have my crooked ass reject glasses on, No make up on and thought…

. . . should I at least put some mascara on?

. . . don’t I need like something?

Then I was like bitch

If I can fucking see at Trader Joes

A old ass man in a faded fucking rainbow tutu with a dirty wife beater pulling his luggage around waving like he is Marilyn Monroe

Yeah…I saw that the other day at Trader Joes

If I can see that


Fucking surely,

I can walk out of the house with my hair in a bun

No makeup on

Not even mascara

Surely, I can do that

So that’s what I am going to do today

Sex today is sad

Girl realizes she just met a guy

She barely knows him

Jumps in bed with said guy and puts his junk inside her

They have never even spent 1 hour cuddling


Never saw each other naked before


Had a moment where they loved each other


Never thought about having a life with each other… out of love NOT lust

They have never even had breakfast together…

Saw a sunrise together…

Gone on a hike together…

Discovered a new thing together…

Or just done couples things….


Now they have had sex

Two complete strangers have had sex

Before they ever get to know one another really

Now that they have had sex

Sex is on the mind

So uh…

You just don’t get to know people in the same way as if you never had sex with them

You know what I’m saying?…

Celtic Women Rant

So I am an old soul yet I look super young

24 year olds think they are older than me

I’m 33…


…So technically I have and old soul

I like oldies and all that stuff


…so what type of music do you think I like?

I like fricken Celtic Women shit

And i’m an introvert

You wouldn’t know it

My thought are about me

My actions are about me


I’m straight up interested in me


People always think I have energy

Im tired as fuck all the time

You wouldn’t know because I do ok being extroverted and making shit about them and not my tired ass

I’m a self centered introvert so therefor I like attention on myself

I really love having conversations with people when its about me

Because of the introversion but maybe that’s perversion?

I don’t know….

But yeah

It is 7:46 pm on a Saturday night in Las Vegas

And I’m listening to Celtic Women alone

I’m fucking cool guys

{ramble}…. (listen to the recording above)

Also I want to be a stand up fuckin comedy-ian…. comedeein, comed-ian….. there we go…

I’m so introverted, I’m so alone all the time yet when I’m at work its about them, “What do you want? How can I serve you…”


I work my fuckin ass off

So here on a Friday nigh before 8pm in my pjs, showered, no makeup, hair looking like a 5 year old with her little side braid, with my Celtic Women, high, cracked out on caffeine

But yeah I’m so introverted and tired of playing extrovert all day

I have to talk to myself because not alot of people want to talk to me about me

Its always about them and I fucking hate that and that’s probably why I just want to be alone

But I got these jokes, I go these rhymes, I got theses fucking verses

I want to get out off my chest

So here you are


Dick size doesn’t matter

So… size is not important to me

I have had guys with big dicks that just hurt

I have had a guy with a big skinny dick I could hardly feel


I had a guy with a big dick who couldn’t stay hard

I had a guy with a big dick who couldn’t last long

My point is…

Big dicks are more disappointing than not big dicks

To be honest


It’s not about the fucking size

It’s about the connection


We all know its about the clitoris

You don’t need a big dick for the clitoris…

True Love {for my cat}

True love is when you hate them

When they annoy the fuck out of you

When you wish you didn’t have them

Because they make things harder


You could never


Think about leaving them


And that is how I feel for my cat

To be fair

I’m sure she feels the same

I know she has hated me at times

I know I have annoyed her at times


I know she loves me….