Tag: spiritual

Money cant buy happiness

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So I learned this week that money doesn’t buy happiness…

I quit my job… then they fired me…

I’m trying to do the hustle and the grind on the side and nothings… you know… taking off like immediately… who would have fucking known!!?… like I’m just impatient….

All I keep thinking is I went from making “this” a day and now I’m only making “sometimes this”…

But like also… in one fucking day… I made the most money I ever made…. I made enough to pay my rent next month… Like next week… I made enough to pay my rent next week….

Yet here I am… depressed….and thinking about how I’m not making what i’m used to making every day… And I’m not putting in the hours that i’m used to putting in every week…

But I already in one day just made… alot…. and its just like this weird mind fuck…

Like this has only been not even a week of being out on my own….

So I don’t know what the months going to look like… I’m starting to see though that I cant look at this per day… per hour…. It’s not gonna be like that… I have to compare month to month…

Im gonna try that out… I’m gonna try to be positive…

And I just need to remember to look at the wins not the losses… cuz the wins are great…

And I also think a lot about how people who win the lottery… It only comes to the people who are…. I don’t know…. I guess they expect it… They feel like they deserve it… they know what they are gonna do with it…

And I keep thinking…. If I….

You know, I listen to Abraham hicks and spiritual shit… And you got to believe in yourself and these things before they can come to you basically…

And so I keep thinking like… do I believe that I should win the lottery or be like really really really rich?…I keep thinking like what would my day look like what would I do… And I think about it and I’d probably still be lost and depressed and still have no fucking purpose and reason to live…

So maybe thats why I cant win the lottery…

But I do believe in myself enough to know that I can make it to next month so thats why… 2 days ago I won my own personal lottery where I can pay my rent next month….

I guess thats how life works…

So now I just gotta keep working on what would I do with a million dollars…

What would I do if I was rich….

Like I need to be prepared…

Cuz that shit ain’t gonna come to you if you aren’t prepared for it or if it somehow does fucking come to you its gonna knock you on your ass and your gonna be homeless and I don’t know… its gonna be bad…

So if you guys want to be rich…. if you want to win the lottery… prepare for it… Figure out what your day would be like… what would you do…

Cuz I don’t want to just win the lottery and be laying in bed all day cuz I’m depressed… And I think thats what I would do if I won the lottery right now.

So that’s why I cannot win the lottery right now…

I got to bust my butt off and enjoy this fucking struggle and just make it work cuz I guess that’s more fun…

Thanks for listening guys

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…. “I feel like I’m living on the edge right now because I only have like one podcast scheduled to go out” ….

…. “ . . . They are so old when I listen to those I am like {god damn that’s an annoying b****}” ….

…. “. . .  I’m not postings that one, that one is so lame” ….

…. “um… so…….” ….

…. “I thought this is kinda cool actually” ….

…. “It means that my podcast and blog posts and everything with my instagram posts and all that . . . {because it’s happening in the same few days} it’s  like in real time” ….

…. “A lot of the old podcasts were like months old, or weeks old and now I’m at couple hours old type shit” ….

…. “So this shit is getting real” …. 

…. “Um. . . Sure its nice to have 7 podcasts scheduled for the week but uh. . . It’s hard. . . I’m working a lot and uh. . .yeah. . .” ….

…. “I don’t even want to go into the iPhone 5c and 6 archives. . . Or the iPads. . .um. .  ” ….

…. “I ain’t prepared to listen to those, they in the bad parts of life” ….

…. “. . . This is too boring, this is too sad” ….

…. “Not much of those get out” ….

…. “I feel like I’m eventually gonna run out and then I’m going to have. . .I’m gonna miss a day. . .and that’s crazy” ….

…. “I don’t know what happened, I just started this podcast so intuitively and uh . . . With no f****** plan but from day one the plan was, upload one a day and now I’m like shit. . . It’s getting scary” ….

…. “I’m getting scared, if I miss a day I’m gonna feel super disappointed” ….

…. “How hard can it be to upload a rant a day they are like 2 minutes long!? . . .  I can do it!. . .  I got this!. . .” ….

…. “I’m doing what I do and I like it and uh well see what happens and don’t beat me up if skip a day cuz I get busy. . . K? Thanks! Thanks for listening guys” ….

Shut up anxiety

Sami PeculiarLeave a comment
October 3rd 2020

The more you know yourself the less anxiety you have

Because when you start getting anxiety

You learn to tell your self

“Shut the fuck up bitch, girl you are not dying, NO you do NOT need to go to the hospital, you just had too much caffeine! You are NOT dying, chill the fuck out….. Go sit in a corner and breath”

Celtic Women Rant

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So I am an old soul yet I look super young

24 year olds think they are older than me

I’m 33…

…{…ramble…}…

…So technically I have and old soul

I like oldies and all that stuff

…{…ramble…}…

…so what type of music do you think I like?

I like fricken Celtic Women shit

And i’m an introvert

You wouldn’t know it

…

My thought are about me

My actions are about me

Introversion

I’m straight up interested in me

….

People always think I have energy

Im tired as fuck all the time

You wouldn’t know because I do ok being extroverted and making shit about them and not my tired ass

…

I’m a self centered introvert so therefor I like attention on myself

I really love having conversations with people when its about me

Because of the introversion but maybe that’s perversion?

I don’t know….

But yeah

It is 7:46 pm on a Saturday night in Las Vegas

And I’m listening to Celtic Women alone

I’m fucking cool guys

{ramble}…. (listen to the recording above)

Also I want to be a stand up fuckin comedy-ian…. comedeein, comed-ian….. there we go…

I’m so introverted, I’m so alone all the time yet when I’m at work its about them, “What do you want? How can I serve you…”

{ramble….}

I work my fuckin ass off

So here on a Friday nigh before 8pm in my pjs, showered, no makeup, hair looking like a 5 year old with her little side braid, with my Celtic Women, high, cracked out on caffeine

But yeah I’m so introverted and tired of playing extrovert all day

I have to talk to myself because not alot of people want to talk to me about me

Its always about them and I fucking hate that and that’s probably why I just want to be alone

But I got these jokes, I go these rhymes, I got theses fucking verses

I want to get out off my chest

So here you are

ramble…………

True Love {for my cat}

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True love is when you hate them

When they annoy the fuck out of you

When you wish you didn’t have them

Because they make things harder

But…

You could never

Ever…

Think about leaving them

Really…

And that is how I feel for my cat

To be fair

I’m sure she feels the same

I know she has hated me at times

I know I have annoyed her at times

But…

I know she loves me….

Oils & Rocks

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“I bought every crystal…

every aromatherapy essential oil…

Tarot cards…

vitamins…

….trying to clear my bad juju.

I don’t think it’s working…

If it is working!?…

…Man…

If this is the best damn outcome because my life was that fucking shitty and all of those oils and rocks actually helped and then this is the fucking holy grail here…

….then damn I don’t even know what to say, but damn; “