She was telling me how this one client was flirting with her and he’s older
And I was like wait? what’s older? she says “like 38”
I’m like oh… that’s just like… my age
But I’m like also thinking like
“NO bitch they don’t get better with age, they get more fucked up with age”
They are so fucking damaged
Don’t go older bitch, you need to go younger, you need to get em like… locked up… like right out of the womb you know and you need to train em and um make sure they don’t get too fucked up
But by the time they get back up here in this age, in the thirties, they already fucked up
So… Working as the bottom of the barrel hairstylist at a chain salon…. for over a year now during a pandemic has been fucking shitty…
Ya know… You’re getting people that are… like ass holes… they think they are entitled… they think they are something…cuz… just… the… yeah… {???} they think they are something…
And they think they are going to like, a world famous barber… and they are gonna get the world famous fucking fade…and they are gonna… they are paying so much cuz its $19.50…
Nineteen dollars and fifty cents…. just…. its so expensive… they need the fucking… the worlds best barbers fade…
And uh… they need it right now…
Like… don’t make me wait… NO I need my haircut now…
I know I didn’t have an appointment and I know its 2020 and I know I’m supposed to wear a mask… but NO…. I aint wearing no fucking mask… and I aint making no appointments… This is the time I want right now…
I’m like NO… HONEY…. We booked… don’t cha know we are in the fucking middle of a pandemic… no one wants to work… we only got 2 stylists working… we are already booked honey…
We can do 5:30! Can you do 5:30???
No… theses mother fuckers are ass holes coming in here wanting their haircuts asap… they are expecting to get the world class barber and they are already complaining about the $19 dollar fucking charge…
Like… Oh my god… this dude today… he just stopped me in the parking lot and he is like…
YO… was that girl… who was cutting my hair… was she new….
And I was just like…
I really really wanted to say…
Dude…what the fuck do you expect. You didn’t request anybody… your coming to a… a chain salon… in the middle of a pandemic….when vdnobody wants to work… you think your gonna get fucking Vidal Sassoons barber… honey NO… you gonna get the girl fresh out of beauty school…who IS working and she is really fucking sweet and she needs a lot of training and we are working on it with her…. Like chill fucker… you didn’t go Vidal Sassoon… this is a chain salon… remember… and you didn’t request nobody… yeah, you got the new girl… shut the fuck up…
Like get out of here…
But uh… yeah… I’m getting yelled at… today I got yelled at 3 times…
Theses people… 2 of them were old men….
The first dude…maybe he wasn’t that old…. But… he’s old… umm… this dude walks in…and uh… says uh yeah I got an appointment….
And I’m like… I’m in the middle of a color… I’m blocked out for 2 hours…its definitely not with me… and uh its not with the other girl…she is already working on hers…
so I’m like you know…
A… I don’t see you here… uh…
And he goes oh shit… that was with… you know the other competitor… the other cheaper competitor… you know… shit… I booked it over there… and then he is like I’ll just get it here…
And I was like… ok… well… I’m in the middle of a color… she’s just working on her client… we can take you RIGHT after…
Like that is fucking rare… that’s gold… he should be thanking his lucky star we can get him in next…
And this mother fucker walks out… pissed the fuck off… I don’t know what the fuck he was pissed about…
But that’s… that’s how I start my day… and that’s how I start almost everyday…
And then the next dude who walks in… older…more angry…
{laughs/ fart sound from {for the record} rocks rolling in tub} 😂
So this fucker walks in… I’m like how can I help you?
I’m doing my sweet voice cuz I know theses people are already… mother fucking angry… so I’m just… HI! How can I help you?
You know…
I didn’t say do you have an appointment… {that is the rude way to welcome someone walking into the salon}… I said how can I help you? Theses mother fuckers…. “Uh… yeah I need a fucking HAIRCUT”…
Sooo….. uh… then… I’m like…. Ohhhhh…. Okkkkk…..uh…. We can totally get you in right after this… and so he goes… he sits down… and I said ok… can I have your uh… your name or your phone number… and this guy… he goes off on me now… this dude is pissed…. He goes… Why the fuck does everybody got to know my name and ask for my number…
And I said… sir… if we don’t put you in here… someone is gonna book your appointment online and we don’t want that now do we… so can I get a name… he just gives me his first name… and I get it… I’m like ok I’m not pushing this idiot… I get it… he thinks he’s like… people want his number… like… and his name… but he doesn’t know… nobody fucking wants anything of his…No…we know you got nothing… so… your not that important…
But uh… so I just put his first name in… and I put refused as the last name…no fucking phone number… but um… he’s like… {???}
I’m telling him… oh also… just in case you ever want to know who cut your hair… if you like them and you don’t remember… we can look that up by your name… and also… if you have a certain haircut that you like we put that in there so we know your haircut next time… better service…
So this mother fucker… is just a piece of shit idiot ass hole dick… but he sits down… he actually took the appointment tho…
And then the next and 3rd final person to go off on me today… was uh… this lady… and she has no mask on… ok… cool… but like… the state just updated the mandates that we all are supposed to be wearing a mask and I’m working for a chain salon that has rules and regulations… ok… and she just thinks like… she is going off…
What the fuck {???}… this is such bull shit… and then she goes ahead and uh… another guy comes in with his son…and she is just like…“First they tell us to get vaccinated and now we got to fucking put pur mask back on…
Yes… like no one said a fucking word after she did that little bitch fit… it was crickets…cricket in the salon…so I think she felt… I hope she felt like a fucking idiot… and that bitch did put her mask on and she kept in on the whole time… but mind you I now am working on her daughter… for 2.5 hours I worked on her daughter… the daughter is so happy… smiling… taking pictures….and this fucking bitch mom gave me a $2 tip…
Like…. Fuck… this…
Anyone who wants to go work in a chain salon with cheap ass salon clients in the middle of a pandemic….
Just don’t… people are fucking ass holes… they are impatient… they are rude… they think they are fucking entitled… NO… please save yourself…
I… don’t remember health insurance being…. this… like…. ridiculous…. to sign up for….
But then also….
I never signed up for health insurance…. In my life….
I had my parents health insurance till I was 26 and then they booted me off that shit…
And then I was on the medical, welfare type health shit when I was really… you know… down…. and out and poor…ER…..
So… um…. I… never… I realized had health insurance…. like on my own as an adult….
And now… I’m trying…
Its the year twenty twenty one… and like I just don’t…
I keep thinking I don’t remember it being like this…
But now I’m just curious…. Was it always this fucking bad????
I mean… I went online… and I thought I was gonna like type some stuff in and it was going to show me the boxes with different… um… price points and all the stuff that’s included… That’s what I’m expecting!!!
But no… I go online… I punch some shit in… now the whole world has my email and fucking phone number… and for days my phone has been blowing us with texts and calls and emails… not really maybe only 2 emails…. but like texts and calls… I’ve just been getting blown the fuck up for like a week straight….
{silent confused thoughtful pause}
I don’t think it was like that before… I’m really confused…
I just wanted to see the boxes with the price tag and what I get and what I need…
Why the fuck did I just get this dude messaging me for days?!?!
I finally just said like dude can we just do this through text I don’t want to talk to you… And this mother fucker… Just tells me yeah sure just get my {????}…..
OK… I’ll get you my fucking income in a moment… like tomorrow… I just got off work…
This fool is now texting me like a bad boyfriend… Like can we talk right now???
NO!!! I just got home from fucking work and I got to go sit in the bath and rant about you… um…. No we cannot talk right now…
What the fuck is this… its after… Its almost… Seven!…. I’m like… should be in pajama’s by now… I’m not…
But um… so yeah…
This guy like… I told him… I texted him… I will get you the numbers tomorrow…
This fool is blowing up my phone calls… can we just do it right now?… can we just talk right now?… please?!
Like… I just didn’t even respond…
This fool got smart like five minutes in and got respectful…
Like… You got to train em…
He says OK tell me what time is good for you tomorrow?
Ok finally… so I’m just like ten am… Like I said nothing else… I’ve been ignoring every call this dude has sent me after I said I’ll get you the numbers tomorrow….
I ignored his calls… 2 or 3 of them…. I ignored his texts… I mean finally I just said TEN… not even AM…
Now… I get an email… {???}… well he texts me and tells me to check my email…
Now I got to go to a fucking webinar tomorrow at 10… like what is this!?!?
I’m not trying to buy a timeshare!!!
{Long annoyed pause}
So I’m just like… I…. almost…
I’m so fucking sick of this…
I’m just gonna elect to have no health insurance because I cannot deal with this bull shit!
Like this is harassment and I really don’t think it was ever like this so why the fuck is getting health insurance like this now!?
Why do you got to do like…
Why cant you just see the boxes with the prices and the fucking things you get in it????
I was like what makeup should I do? What hair should I do?
And I was like what the fuck
It’s my day off
And why do I even have to do my hair or make up
So I just put it in this messy ass bun since I don’t need my hair looking great
I really wish I could just take my hair off, have a shaved head or something
But I don’t so I put it in a bun on the top of my head and I get all the hair off my neck and shoulders so it at least feels like I don’t have any hair
Except it feels like something is squeezing my head which is really annoying but I guess its the price I pay for not shaving my head
Anyway I put my hair in a weird ass bun and I have my crooked ass reject glasses on, No make up on and thought…
. . . should I at least put some mascara on?
. . . don’t I need like something?
Then I was like bitch
If I can fucking see at Trader Joes
A old ass man in a faded fucking rainbow tutu with a dirty wife beater pulling his luggage around waving like he is Marilyn Monroe
You wouldn’t know because I do ok being extroverted and making shit about them and not my tired ass
…
I’m a self centered introvert so therefor I like attention on myself
I really love having conversations with people when its about me
Because of the introversion but maybe that’s perversion?
I don’t know….
But yeah
It is 7:46 pm on a Saturday night in Las Vegas
And I’m listening to Celtic Women alone
I’m fucking cool guys
{ramble}…. (listen to the recording above)
Also I want to be a stand up fuckin comedy-ian…. comedeein, comed-ian….. there we go…
I’m so introverted, I’m so alone all the time yet when I’m at work its about them, “What do you want? How can I serve you…”
{ramble….}
I work my fuckin ass off
So here on a Friday nigh before 8pm in my pjs, showered, no makeup, hair looking like a 5 year old with her little side braid, with my Celtic Women, high, cracked out on caffeine
But yeah I’m so introverted and tired of playing extrovert all day
I have to talk to myself because not alot of people want to talk to me about me
Its always about them and I fucking hate that and that’s probably why I just want to be alone
But I got these jokes, I go these rhymes, I got theses fucking verses
Sami Peculiar 