I was like what makeup should I do? What hair should I do?
And I was like what the fuck
It’s my day off
And why do I even have to do my hair or make up
So I just put it in this messy ass bun since I don’t need my hair looking great
I really wish I could just take my hair off, have a shaved head or something
But I don’t so I put it in a bun on the top of my head and I get all the hair off my neck and shoulders so it at least feels like I don’t have any hair
Except it feels like something is squeezing my head which is really annoying but I guess its the price I pay for not shaving my head
Anyway I put my hair in a weird ass bun and I have my crooked ass reject glasses on, No make up on and thought…
. . . should I at least put some mascara on?
. . . don’t I need like something?
Then I was like bitch
If I can fucking see at Trader Joes
A old ass man in a faded fucking rainbow tutu with a dirty wife beater pulling his luggage around waving like he is Marilyn Monroe
You wouldn’t know because I do ok being extroverted and making shit about them and not my tired ass
…
I’m a self centered introvert so therefor I like attention on myself
I really love having conversations with people when its about me
Because of the introversion but maybe that’s perversion?
I don’t know….
But yeah
It is 7:46 pm on a Saturday night in Las Vegas
And I’m listening to Celtic Women alone
I’m fucking cool guys
{ramble}…. (listen to the recording above)
Also I want to be a stand up fuckin comedy-ian…. comedeein, comed-ian….. there we go…
I’m so introverted, I’m so alone all the time yet when I’m at work its about them, “What do you want? How can I serve you…”
{ramble….}
I work my fuckin ass off
So here on a Friday nigh before 8pm in my pjs, showered, no makeup, hair looking like a 5 year old with her little side braid, with my Celtic Women, high, cracked out on caffeine
But yeah I’m so introverted and tired of playing extrovert all day
I have to talk to myself because not alot of people want to talk to me about me
Its always about them and I fucking hate that and that’s probably why I just want to be alone
But I got these jokes, I go these rhymes, I got theses fucking verses
I though of something so important to say that I had to do it while showering
AND
B…. because
Today this young girl said “you have a weird voice” {in weird little girl voice}
Literally this young innocent sweet girl who is just being brutally honest, not even coming off mean, just noticing her surroundings and apparently what she noticed was………………………………….. “I have a weird voice”
And then she says “IT’S LIKE A WITCH” {in a cute weird little girl voice}
I think its cute. My pride isn’t hurt…. {no ego or pride hurt here by this sweet innocent honest little girl}
…
I mean yeah
I always kind of thought my voice sounded funny on recordings
But I figure that’s how it is with everybody when you hear your voice
Like some weird matrix shit
So I just thought that was normal and that my voice was normal
…
So now at 34 almost years old
I am starting to wonder if my voice is actually funny
Like haha not wow that was a good joke
but like haha your voice sounds strange
….
So
Here where my confidence part kicked in
I have this conceited thought while in the shower
I thought hey
Its better to hear it from this little girl whos being all cute and sweet
Its better to hear it from her that my voice is “funny” and “sounds like a witch” than from people and my tolls on the internet when I get like
Big and famous
You know and I get trolls and shit
…
One troll one day is going to say to me “your voice sounds funny”
And I am going to be like
Thank you…. little girl
Thank you for that
I really appreciate you bringing that to my attention but uh
Yeah, I think its pretty cool
….
Anyways, that was my thought in the shower
And I knew
I know I was going to forget it
If I didn’t tell it
And
I was like 100% sure that I was going to fuck it up
But uh apparently I didn’t
I think I made it all the way through
And I didn’t you know get side tracked by a squirrel or something
….
Just remember that guys when you tell me my voice sounds funny
