All I want in a relationship

…. “If it sounds like I’m peeing. . . . I’M NOT” ….

…. “I’m just brewing some tea . . . So don’t get on my case about that” ….

…. “After a long day at work and standing . . . My f****** feet, ankles, knees, back, arms, everything just hurts” …. 

…. “So all I want is just someone who’s gonna rub my feet and head and everything in between” …. 

…. “And um. . . Cuddle and not say a word” ….

…. “Like that’s all I want in life, and if I ain’t getting that from someone why the f*** am I in a relationship with you?” ….

Random thoughts and facts

…. “So uh” ….

…. “Sorry I’ve been a little MIA on the podcast” …. 

***(PS find me where the podcasts are for the most current rants)***

…. “Just uh. . . I don’t know. . . Trying to figure my life out” ….

…. “Also . . . Uh. . . ” ….

…. “Sometimes I have my cup that I drink my tea in and I clean it out in the shower  while I clean myself” …. 

…. “I thought I wanted you guys to know that” ….

…. “As I’m just showering and doing my dishes over here” ….

Butterfly filter lips

…. “God damn these f****** internet filters, like they be getting me” ….

…. “I done even like that the f***** butterflies are there” ….

…. “I just like the tones that it tones my picture to, it smoother my skin to look like a babies ass, um like it gives what looks like cool eyelashes or something, and it lightens my eyes . . . AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT COLORS” ….

…. “F*** yeah, of course I like that shit” ….

…. “But um IDGAF about the butterflies but they are there” ….

…. “Cheaper than getting contacts” ….

…. “Wait wait wait. . . I thought your lips were bigger than that b****” ….

…. “You realize all these filters be plumping your lips {laughs} and giving you f****** lip injections” ….

…. “You didn’t even know. . .  Now you tripping out in the mirror like where the f*** my lips go?” ….

I regret almost all the people I’ve slept with

…. “I’ve had a lot of bad sexual experiences in my life and you can pretty much start at the beginning” ….

…. “Let’s say like junior high school days already off to a bad bad start” ….

…. “Let’s just say I don’t remember anyone teaching me about the birds and the bees or about self worth or self esteem or like none of that!” ….

…. “I was just trying to think, out of the people I’ve slept with, um sadly I think its more than a few” ….

…. “But what is everyone else’s few?!” ….

…. “There’s not very many that I’ve slept with that I can be like {I’m really happy I slept with that person} and like that’s bad!” ….

…. “That is sooo bad” ….

 …. “Sex is supposed to be a very intimate thing” ….

…. “I don’t just let nobody f****** in my intimate zone” ….

…. “But I mean. . .  I did . . . but like . .  . I didn’t know this” ….

…. “How many of theses guys? {and we said it was sadly more than a few} how many of them do I really NOT regret having sex with?” …. 

…. “At the moment can only think of like 1 *maybe, kinda, sorta*” …. 

…. “It’s blowing my mind that it is so close to zero out of the “few you know more than a few” guys I’ve slept with and that’s really fucked up” …. 

…. “That’s why I’m fucked up” ….

…. “Like I’ve become this person who really is like craving that intimacy but like just having sex with someone isn’t how I get thate intimacy. . . . . . . . . . . I’ve just realized” ….

…. “Like everyone of those fucking dudes that I regret having sex with which is majority, umm, did I get that intimacy” ….

…. “Like noooo” …. {laughs}

…. “I just ended up. . . like. . . got invaded. . . like no. . . they just invaded me. . . like I wasn’t f****** ready. . . I didn’t know who they are, were, is!” …. 

…. “But I didn’t know so much back then. . . I was so young” ….

…. “I just wanted love. . . I just wanted attention . . . I wanted affection. . . and um that’s how I didn’t get it” …. {laughs}

…. “But I thought I was gonna get it that way” …. 

…. “It didn’t work very well” …. 

Talking honestly to the spy cams

…. “I’m learning to be so openly honest and just like, I’m not trying to be mean, I definitely come off as nice as possible but I say the truth with no f***** in a nice way!” ….

…. “. . . I know because I am the manager that there are cameras that are listening to us” ….

…. “I’m like you know what? {I f****** love this}” ….

…. “I’m gonna be f****** honest {in the nice way}” ….

…. “I f****** hope they hear it! I DO!” ….

…. “These m****** f****** need to hear this shit” ….

Do emojis make text more meaningful?

October 9th 2020

It’s my moms birthday and I’m not big on Facebook affection

I feel like when you say happy birthday on Facebook its to make sure everyone else sees that you said happy birthday to your mom

I refuse to play that game

I tell no one happy birthday on social media.

If your my real friend or part of my life I’ll tell you in person if I can or more likely through text

So now I’m wondering if my happy birthday text to my mom sucked because my mom replied and just said “thanks, love you too”

And I am like, that’s kind of a short reply for me saying “happy birthday, love and miss you so much have the best day”

And she just said “thank you love you too with a heart emoji”

Now it made me think like shit was my happy birthday text bad because I put zero emojis

Zero

Would I have gotten a better response from her if I put all the bday emojis

Would it have been a more meaningful happy birthday text if I put some emojis in it?