Getting good at being yelled at

…. “Just waking up” ….

…. “I’m up, I’m up, I’m up, I’m up” ….

…. “I just was thinking” ….

…. “Going down memory lane and how I used to just be this different person that . . . um couldn’t handle stress” ….

…. “I was like terrified of everything, Everything!” …. 

…. “I needed to be institutionalized, I mean I might still need to be institutionalized but whatever I’m happy” ….

…. “Back then I wasn’t happy and I was fucked up. . . or in a different way and um. . .” ….

…. “Im just like wow I’ve come so fucking far” ….

…. “I’m so like spiritual and awakened you know, like. . .” ….

…. “When theses m***** f****** are b******* and moaning at me” ….

…. “I don’t even f****** bat and eyelash” ….

…. “I know, I’m like in my head {I know this m***** f***** is having a bad day}” ….

…. “Whatever, something ain’t right, it has absolutely nothing to do with me” ….

…. “They are just sick of all the rules and changes in life and all the other drama in their life” ….

…. “So they are taking this s*** out on me” ….

…. “I realize this, I realize this” ….

…. “I just sit there and let them go on their little hissy fits” …. 

…. “It’s the best f***** thing to do because these m***** f****** shut up and end up apologizing to me cuz they realize how f****** dumb they are!” …. 

….{Side story rant}….

…. “Mind you, I’m in the middle of a f****** haircut right now!” …. 

…. “So I tell this mother f*****. . .” ….

…. “So this guy keeps going off and saying some bull s***” ….

…. “Yes, I was shaky, I was reeling, reeling, reeling” …. 

…. “I wasn’t about to meet that fool with his energy” ….

…. “I hear this mother f***** say {it’s a real hostile environment in here, isn’t it?}” ….

…. “I’m not giving that f****** idiot any time of day right now” ….

…. “He is on a different plane and I don’t want to get on that one” ….

…. “I guess apparently he apologized to the stylists. . .” ….

…. “Awesome sweet” ….

Talking honestly to the spy cams

…. “I’m learning to be so openly honest and just like, I’m not trying to be mean, I definitely come off as nice as possible but I say the truth with no f***** in a nice way!” ….

…. “. . . I know because I am the manager that there are cameras that are listening to us” ….

…. “I’m like you know what? {I f****** love this}” ….

…. “I’m gonna be f****** honest {in the nice way}” ….

…. “I f****** hope they hear it! I DO!” ….

…. “These m****** f****** need to hear this shit” ….

Cam-girl room decorating abilities mishap

February 25th 2020

There is a lady out in the world right now who is very pissed at me for criticizing her cam-girl room decorating abilities

Let me rewind a little bit and give you an introduction into how this all came about

I believe in not saying bad things about yourself so as not to cement that shit in let me just tell the universe right now….. “please don’t really make me a broke ass bitch”

But like, maybe I am a broke ass bitch

I was a hairstylist for 8+ years and when I moved states and lost all my clients

I became a hairstylist with no clients to pay the bills

So basically I am a failed hairstylist, running out of money, 33 years old, no boyfriend or husband……. or sugar daddy

I have zero money coming in

All I want is like a mediocre fucking life which is like being rich to me

I just want to have a Spotify account where I can skip as many times as I want and not have to listen to commercials

Like that is rich to me!…. I want to be that rich

I just want to be able to live alone and not have messy ass roommates

I want to be able to walk around naked because I hate the feel of clothes

I want to be that rich….

So basically like middle class mediocre rich and I am not doing so good at that

I’m more like high schooler rich but with no parents taking care of me

So that’s not good…. I’m actually worse off than a high schooler

So…. uh…. yeah…..

I was desperate and decided that I should… Since I have no other skills and I am failing at doing hair because I have no clients and no jobs want to hire someone who has been a self employed hairstylists for 8+ years with no other expierence (in their eyes) And the ones that will hire me wont pay the money I need to be mediocre rich and live alone in a shitty apartment….

….so I thought… why not try porn . . . . .

But, I don’t want to let just any douche bags in me or like ass holes or pricks.

But thought maybe…. I can make some money doing cam girl shit

After brief and shitty research I was under the impression I would be able to make like five hundred a day and have sooo many followers in no time

Like right out the gate

I thought about it, I tried it and ugh….

I made thirty five dollars or something and did like 5 hours total

So that sucked….

I can twiddle my twat alone if I am not getting money for it

I could be doing other things that I want to do

But there I was trying to make money but got only the free loaders

Those few hours I put in already got me burnt out

That was 5 hours of my life and I thought I was going to make like a hundred dollars an hour

I felt like I should have had like five hundred dollars by then even though I knew it was going to take time to build a paying audience

The real thing that turned me off to it was

….this uh…

This mother fucker, fucking scammed me

I’m an idiot!

This mother fucker was in my cam room and man, I should have know better….

. . . . he messaged me on my twitter…. he messaged me on my instagram…. AND on my mother fucking email…

Asking how much for a 30 minute skype show

Then while I was live on my cam site he messaged me on Instagram again!!!

He couldn’t even message me on my cam site chat because he obviously had no tokens to message me and I had it set to only people with the tokens {money to spend} can message me…. I don’t want to talk to free loaders

I should have known right then and there when this mother fucker is messaging me on Instagram and all the other place EXCEPT the live cam room…

… but I am dumb

So he was going thru my amazon Wishlist and said he was going to buy the $200 hard drive I needed/ wanted for my photography

He was DMing me on Instagram this while I was live

I was like damn….. yeah…. ChaChing!$!$!$!

Sure i’ll do two, thirty minute private skype sessions for that

I told the mother fucker to wait till I was done with my live, with my 3 fans who never tipped me

He then had the audacity to say “its not like your making any money”…. {that piece of shit}

But I was also like “he’s right, fuck it lets get a two hundred dollar hard drive”

So he took me away from my cam show where I might have made three cents or something

But this bitch, this fucking ass hole, piece of shit, mother fucker, scum bag, douche bag, prick got me on a mother fucking skype cuz I got all turnt up for the hard drive and I did a thirty minute with him and I did another 30 minute with him the next day

But he was scamming me!!!!

I don’t even want to go into all the details

That’s a story of its own, it is depressing but its fucking gold and it could help people and maybe give me some money too and you know I am a broke ass bitch {universe cover your ears}

But…. yeah…. so any way that was my first attempt at cam girl-ing

I continue to work at my shitty ass part time retail job {universe don’t hear that either}

So shits getting real again. I got a month to figure out that I can’t live in the apartment that I’m living alone in and I need to get a roommate and blah blah blah and my jobs a piece of shit because I can’t even afford to live in the apartment that I’m living in…..

. . . . . . yada yada yada

So I hit the job boards and I see this cam girl shit again!

But this time it’s a fucking craigslist ad and claims it’s the #1 cam studio in the area

So I was like “wow!” maybe they got viewers and better traffic and algorithms and what not

So I messaged them and they were quick to get back to me

I go to check out this studio to be like a professional cam girl with the studio feeding me the viewers etc.

I get there and its a sketchy part of town the building is unmarked

I thought I was going to get inside and it was going to be like men in black. Like covert on the outside and beautiful on the inside. Because the craigslist ad said #1 cam studio

So… I walk in and this shit is dark and just broke fucking down in there

The girl I have the meeting/ interview with, she is just real odd

Bitch just like straight up starts signing me up for their site, sight unseen and my dumb ass went with it cuz she was freaky and clearly special needs and I didn’t want to be mean to the special needs person

She was older, it was hard to tell how old cuz her personality was like that of a 12 year old

Yet again that’s another story for another time….

This story is about how I pissed this lady off

She show me 2 rooms after filling out paperwork and one room isn’t even private its got a curtain so anyone going to the next room is going to see and hear my fake moaning

The rooms looks like meth head rooms. They are nasty as fuck and she is sadly so proud of them because she decorated them herself

They looked like dirty ass, fucking dingy, dark preteen rooms….

. . . eew …. I don’t want……. that’s not my fucking look

I’m like a modern classy harlot type

So I leave the place and she keeps texting me about my pending account etc.

I, in the nicest way tell her that the 2 rooms I saw were not my style and wanted to see pics of the other rooms, that I want a more modern, minimalistic and bright room

And she is sooooo offended and goes off on me

I tried to be super nice and actually even offered to help spruce the rooms up

I clearly struck a nerve with her

She quickly replied showing how un-fit she is to be an adult or a professional

Apparently she did wonders with that place…..