Everybody hates the fucking friend zone like it’s some bad movie or restaurant or something… But uh… I think the friend zone is fucking magic… That is goals for me… I want the friend zone first because… I don’t know… I want to get that out of the way… I want to know that we got a solid friend zone… I want to know that we can do things and enjoy ourselves and enjoy our company… Because every time that I go straight to the hooking up and straight into the relationship I realize we could never ever do the friend zone thing… We hate each other… We do not like being in one’s company except when we’re fucking and even then I don’t even really like it that much… Because we never made it to the friend zone first… The friend zone is my jam… And yeah… I guess that’s kind of like old-fashioned but um… That’s what I want… I want…
I just want to go eat food with you and talk with you and get to know… You and you don’t even got to pay… We don’t even got to make it awkward like that… Let’s just fucking be friends and let’s go get some food and let’s talk and let’s go to some fucking museums… Let’s work out together… Not sexually… You know… Let’s work on ourselves together though… Let’s watch movies… Maybe when we start watching the movies we can start getting a little close… Getting a little cuddly and then the romance can start and then things can heat up… But like let’s not rush it… And… It just doesn’t happen like that…
I’ve had people like try to watch a movie on like date three with me or something and it’s weird… It’s still weird if you’re trying to cuddle and I haven’t developed feelings for you… It’s awkward… It kind of kills it for me… I Need a little more time… I need to like stew in it… I need to like watch movies with you where you were well behaved… Where I sat there the whole movie… Horny as fuck WISHING you would touch me… Like THAT is my foreplay…
But the minute you touch me and try to cuddle or whatever… It’s like I’m not wishing you’re touching me… I’m not… The juices aren’t flowing… It’s immediately cut off and I’m feeling awkward about it… Because I haven’t had a chance to like… Fantasize… I guess… I haven’t had that chance to yearn for your touch… You’re just touching me before I’ve yearned for it and It’s too much… It throws me for a loop… It comes on too strong… I wasn’t prepared for it… I’d prefer to be past due…
Every guy that left me past due… Was the ones that I was the most horny for… The ones that I watched a movie with and they didn’t touch me.. But I wanted them to… You know… And… I want to get to the point where It just becomes so chemical or I guess {physical}… But yeah… I wanted to be so… I can’t think of the word… Just like an involuntary explosion of passion between two people on the same page… With like… You know… That it had been pent up and past due and like ready… READY… Not premature… Not testing the waters… Give me that a premeditated patience when we leave the friend zone…
Let’s make sure we marinate it in the friend zone for a little bit… I just don’t think people do that for long enough these days… And you just go straight for that on date one… You’re trying to get that kiss on date one… Day two… You’re probably… Possibly… Day two or three you’re probably fucking… By date… Like… By the end of the week… You’re now boyfriend and girlfriend… And… Like… That’s… There’s no passion there… That was all just… Like… Sex… And not good… It can’t have been that good…
I don’t know… People settle for that kind of sex… And that’s what they’re doing out there… But… Like… I want the better sex… I don’t want that cheap sex…
No thank you…